Last time on Thank You Mr. Postman, a worried wife came to our dashing detective. Is Mr. Olson having an affair? Will Mrs. Olson fall for our daring Detective McFearson? And how does the postman tie into this sordid affair? Find out on today's episode of “Thank you Mr. Postman.”
Scene 1
McFearson Narrates : After a long night of pondering Mrs. Olson's plight… and her gorgeous legs… I think I've come to a solution…
McFearson : (yells to other room) Miss Claire!
Miss Claire: Yes Detective? I was just making an iced double skinny mocha frapachino with an extra splash of peppermint. Would you like one?
McFearson: Uh… a double skinny…never mind…No thanks Miss Claire. I've got a case to solve.
Miss Claire: Of course detective, what's on the agenda for today?
McFearson: I think we need to go a little postal on our friend Mr. Postman. You hold down the office, Miss Claire. I'm going to take a little trip to the good old UPS…
Miss Claire: Don't you mean the USPS-
McFearson: Yes, just going to have a nice little chat down at the local USAP…
Miss Claire: Of course detective… Oh yes… before you go. A Girl Scout stopped by yesterday. Did you want to buy any cookies this year?
McFearson: At this time of year? In this neighborhood? Ah, no thanks Miss Claire, I'm trying to watch my… FEAR-ish… figure… Ahahahahaha
Miss Claire: Ahahaha… you're so witty… and… desirable…(trailing off)
McFearson: What was that Miss Claire?
Miss Claire: Oh… nothing Detective…
Scene 2
McFearson: alright car, get ready for some fancy driving…
(Sounds of car crashing)
McFearson : (muttering) When did that light post get there…I bet Sherlock Holmes never had to deal with this…
McFearson Narrates: After a bit of car trouble, I set off in my hot, very detective-y ride. Yeah, she's an '81 Ford Escort, everything stock. She's a real beaut. Anyway, it is only a matter of a few wrong turns and a couple of middle fingers before I arrived at the local post office.
(sound of a car horn)
McFearson Narrates: I'm about to head inside to do a bit of sly sleuthing when a flash of green clothing catches my eye.
(Weird song on the stereo.)
McFearson: What the rubber duck…Is that a…mother of Judah.
McFearson Narrates: It was a sickening sight to behold. I was spying with two little eyes an adorable girl scout creeping around the corner of the post office. I stealthily creep my Escort forward.
(Sound of bad car brakes)
McFearson: Sweet Thin Mints! I think I'm going to be sick.
McFearson Narrates: Peering though my dark aviators, I witness the unthinkable. This cute little Girl Scout of America is handing a large box labeled COUNTERFIT COOKIES to a postman. The postman grins and shakes her hand, handing her a wad of cash.
McFearson: This is a sad day for cookie lovers everywhere. The postman has innocent Girl Scouts in on this too. A counterfeit cookie ring? I'm about to toss MY cookies…
McFearson Narrates : I shove my Escort into reverse. And as I speed off into the afternoon, I see the door of a mini van slide open and the Girl Scout climb inside.
Narrator: The Postman. The cookies. The Girl Scouts? How do these connect to Mrs. Olson? Find out next time on “Thank You Mr. Postman.”
Thank you Mr. Postman 2
