by Noah Magen and Amanda Krysinski

Listen here!

Young man voice: “Hey baby, what's your sign?”

Robot voice: “Cindy does not have a sign, nor does she participate in sexual activities, prepare to die.”

Young man voice: “I was just …”

Sound Effect: Gun fires.

Young man voice: “AGHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Announcer voice: Has your daughter ever been invited to participate in sexual activities? Of course she has! But now is the time to put a stop to that. The Chastity -Bot 3000 has arrived! In today's busy world, who has time to follow their daughter everywhere. Who has the time to sit outside their bedroom door with a shotgun at night? Well the Chastity Bot 3000 does! Your daughter will never be alone again. The new and improved Chastity Bot 3000 has tons of great new features including: 6000 variations of the word no in 42 different languages, super sensitive manometer, a 745,000 volt stun gun, and the Chastity Bot is a certified ninja.   And today we'll give you the Chasity Bot for only   $999.99 and if you call within the next 60 seconds we'll throw a free bottle of mace and it'll be ready for prom. So call right now to get the great new Chastity-Bot 3000 for only $999.99.

Robot voice: “NO”