by Noah Magen
Announcer:
This November the men and women of Alaska will make a very important decision at the polls. They will elect the next governor to lead our state into the bright future ahead and only one man can do this, John B. Jones. Jones was born in the quaint village of Chicken and has lived in Alaska ever since. John holds the distinction of being Alaska's first and only all-American quarterback, and rumor has it, he could wrestle a bear like no other. As Chicken's congressman he gave every school teacher a 1 kagillion percent salary increase and built a multi-million dollar chemistry laboratory in every Alaska school. But what about the other gubernatorial candidate, Binky Rogers. This man who hangs out at playgrounds and will take money from homeless people will NOT lead Alaska to the prosperous potential our state has.
Testimonials:
“Binky Rogers smokes crack!”
“He ran over my lama and didn't even stop to help, he just drove away drinking a beer!”
“Instead of giving money to schools and public health, Binky Rogers wants to use that money to build a road from Japan to Anchorage.”
“ I asked Binky what country he wanted to build the pipeline though and he said Mexico!”
“ I am firmly against polar bears in public office.”
“ Binky isn't even an American.”
Announcer:
The choice is clear. Vote for John B. Jones or else Alaska will explode.
Paid for by the Bad Binky Association of America
Binkey Rogers Fake Ad
